Joe Pontillo

Joe Pontillo is a stand-up comedian and sports enthusiast. Follow Joe on Twitter @JoePontillo

5 characters no one's ever heard of and that chick everyone dressed up as for Halloween.

5 characters no one’s ever heard of and that chick everyone dresses up as for Halloween.

 

Fresh off the heels of the somehow successful “Batman V Superman”, DC continues to expand it’s cinematic universe with a movie about a bunch of characters that even a hardcore comic book fan such as myself is not even entirely sure he’s ever heard of. “Suicide Squad” is a movie, and that might be the best statement I can make about it.  OK, that’s a lie.  It certainly wasn’t bad, in fact it came close to being good. Unfortunately too much Jared Leto and a villain that made no freaking sense ruins everything.

 

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I think I was a Met.

Who the f*ck is this guy?

 

While he’s done plenty of good things for this franchise, Sandy Alderson seems to go out of his way to make one or two bizarre moves each offseason. These moves are usually for a player that in theory could be useful but they ultimately turn out to be a huge waste of time and end up getting designated for assignment (DFA!) and then released.  Now in his sixth year let us go through the worst of the worst.

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Which Team Of Heroes Can Look The Saddest?

Not Sure What We’re Fighting For But Let’s Do It!

 

If you needed a comic book movie that would wash the taste of “Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Whatever” out of your mouth (Even though it really wasn’t that bad but it still should have made you sad for the future of humanity) then watching “Captain America: Civil War” is everything you could have asked for.  And I have to say, that upon a first viewing this may have been the best comic book movie ever.  How is that possible? Well, it’s been three days since I watched it and still can’t think of anything that’s wrong with it so holy crap guys this might be it.

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Oh shit, this movie could have been awful.

Batman reading the reviews of this movie.

Holy crap guys, I went to see “Batman v Superman: Dawn Of Justice” last night.  I think the title needs a few more words because I don’t think it’s quite clear what this movie is about.  I really looked forward to hating this movie and based on everything I had read, it had sounded like this might be the last comic book movie that DC Comics ever made. But, despite it’s best efforts I actually enjoyed a good portion of this film. To be fair, when you make a two and a half hour movie you can fill it with lots of awful crap and still have it be somewhat enjoyable.

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The whole cast is back plus 15 more people.

The whole cast is back plus 15 more people.

 

So I lost a bet and was forced to watch the entire season of “Fuller House” on Netflix.  OK, that isn’t accurate. This was a show/series that needed to be watched out of morbid curiosity and when I say morbid I mean MORBID.  If you can handle watching a show like “Melissa And Joey” and like to do acid then this is the show for you.

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Movie Review: Deadpool

February 18, 2016 by
Reading this review and plotting my demise.

Reading this review and plotting my demise.

 

It’s going to be hard to make sarcastic comments about a movie that went out of it’s way to make sarcastic comments about itself while also kind of mocking the entire superhero genre but I will try.  I saw “Deadpool” Monday because that’s how I like to celebrate President’s Day. I laughed a lot, and also cried a little but for unrelated reasons. Check out my mostly spoiler free review below!

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Omg I'm tweeting!

Omg I’m tweeting!

 

Every list you find on the internet is a best of this or a best of that list.  No one ever talks about the negative so I’ve decided to change that.  On the surface, Twitter seems like a really great thing but if you actually use it on a regular basis you will realize that it’s a cesspool of trolls, weirdos, plagiarists, and psychotics.   These are the worst kinds of Tweeters in no particular order…

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Spoiler alert: Flying paragraph's are still a huge threat to space travel.

Spoiler alert: Flying paragraph’s are still a huge threat to space travel.

 

I got to see “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” last night. But will the force stay woke? We’ll find out.  I am not a huge Star Wars fan but mostly enjoyed the first trilogy of movies, the second trilogy mostly hurt my eyes and ears.  Within ten minutes of watching the new movie it already had enough quality stuff in it to surpass the prequels.  The prequels being “Phantom Menace”, “Attack Of The Clones” and “Revenge Of The Sith” in case you’re scoring at home.

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Sipping my tea while society crumbles..

Sipping my tea while society crumbles..

 

Been a while so I thought I’d drop my newest videos here.  First off we have “Cats” by ROTFL and Lil Jon Baba. It’s a parody of the song “Shots” by LMFAO and Lil Jon.  If you’re unfamiliar with the song then you might hate this video. If you are familiar with the song then you still might hate the video but check it out anyway. It’s also great if you’re a big fan of internet cats because cats are the wave of the future.

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Lol got you!

Lol got you!

 

A friend of my recently brought to my attention some insanely…and questionably popular YouTube accounts. These accounts who shall remain nameless make a killing view wise with prank videos. They range from kind of amusing to absolutely terrible. One of the top pranksters actually laughs like a school girl during each one which completely ruins the video.  Anyway I decided to be a troll and make a series of “fake” prank videos to mock these people. They are all relatively amusing and short.  Here they are now for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy!

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